Well I’ve kicked around a lot since high school
I’ve worked a lot of nowhere gigs
From keyboard man in a rock’n ska band
To haulin’ boss crude in the big rigs

Now I’ve come back home to plan my next move
From the comfort of my Aunt Faye’s couch
When I see my little cousin Janine walk in
All I could say was ow ow ouch

CHORUS:
Honey how you’ve grown
Like a rose
Well we used to play
When we were three
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree

She turned my life into a living hell
In those little tops and tight capris
I pretended to be readin’ the National Probe
As I was watchin’ her wax her skis

On Saturday night she walked in with her date
And backs him up against the wall
I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing
In a voice I never knew I had before

CHORUS
I’ll teach you everything I know
If you teach me how to do that dance
Life is short and quid pro quo
And what’s so strange about a down-home family romance?

One night we’re playin’ gin by a cracklin’ fire
And I figured I’d make my play
I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks
How can you stand it for one more day

She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce
The dreary architecture of your soul
I said – but what is it exactly turns you off?